These Ideas are so Cash : Movie Edition

(Photo credit: Sierra Madre Search and Rescue Team)

I recently arrived home after a barbecue with some coworkers, and I must write down some really awesome movie ideas.

Now, sometimes, when I get together with friends, I’ll get a bit animated over some weird idea.  By “animated,” I mean people start thinking I’m drunk, and by “idea,” I mean of the hair-brained kind.  Nevertheless, I think my new head writer Christiana and I have come up with lightning in a bottle.  The least I can do is write them all out before I forget about them all.  Strike whilst the iron’s hot, and all that…

11145061_10207314003228825_3789970680277732977_nCute-cano or Cutecano (mashup of cute and volcano) A baby animal hospital, located on top of a mountain, is threatened by a volcanic eruption.  A shy veterinarian and an outsider mountaineer fight certain death to save the infirmed baby animals, falling in unlikely love in the process.  Tag Line:  Get away from that lava right meow!

The Collapsing Corn Terrorists open up a slowly growing, massive sinkhole in the middle of Iowa during the presidential campaign season.  One of the sinkhole’s first victims is a lovable old farmer.  The farmer’s daughter teams up with a dashing FBI agent to solve the mystery of the sinkhole and save America.  Tag Line:  The election cycle is about to go off the deep end

Raptor Jam Scientists cloning dinosaurs in a top-secret facility lose control of their massive beasts, and a pack of velociraptors escape towards a freeway during rush hour.  A sassy taxi driver and mild-mannered scientist team up to race through traffic to disintegrate the ferocious dinosaurs, all the while being hunted by a secretive government agency intent on saving the raptors for using in the War on Terror.  Tag Line: This traffic snarl carries a huge bite!

Dino Death Match A rookie policewoman and a jaded police detective are detailed to investigate what appears to be a dog-fighting ring, only to discover that the “dogs” are actually cloned dinosaurs!  The pair must find a way past their personal differences to break up this terrifying enterprise and bring a cabal of insane scientists to justice, all while avoiding getting eaten by the dangerous giant lizards.  Tag Line: All bets are off on who will survive this bout!

In the Pits Exploring the world of forbidden love in the world of sprint car racing, a rookie sprint car racer on a losing streak gets lessons in racing and passion from a grizzled, washed-up racer-turned-mechanic.  All is on the line when their world gets shattered during the season finals when the other drivers find out what they’ve been up to.  Tag Line: The thrill of the sprint, the blood on asphalt.

There was also talk on “Dinocane,” where a hurricane picks up cloned dinosaurs as it moves through Florida, but that’s too much like Sharknado, I think….


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